“Fight, Flight”. . . Or “Wait”?

I was just thinking about the scripture Isaiah 40:31.  We all know it.  Today I am intrigued by the phrase those who “wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” What does this waiting look like?  We know that it is not a natural thing to "wait."  In difficult times, when the going gets tough, we tend to either "fight" or "flee."  How can we keep from doing what comes naturally?  How do we live the higher law when the natural man is so apposed to it?  There is only one way. 

Here is what we know from Mosiah 3:17-21

 17 And moreover, I say unto you, that there shall be no other name given nor any other way nor means whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent. 
18 For behold he judgeth, and his judgment is just; and the infant perisheth not that dieth in his infancy; but men drink damnation to their own souls except they humble themselves and become as little children, and believe that salvation was, and is, and is to come, in and through the atoning blood of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent.
19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
20 And moreover, I say unto you, that the time shall come when the knowledge of a Savior shall spread throughout every nation, kindred, tongue, and people.
21 And behold, when that time cometh, none shall be found blameless before God, except it be little children, only through repentance and faith on the name of the Lord God Omnipotent.

       What is the impulse of the “natural man?”   In times of fright, worry, anxiety or stress, our natural thought is what we call “fight or flight.”  Think of Peter and his denying the Christ three times (Mark 14).   What about the rich young ruler (Mathew 19) who went away sorrowful because he had “great possessions.”  When we are faced with trials, we can very easily give in to our “natural man” by attempting to put up a fight or by getting away.

 

What about a third option?  How about following the council of Isaiah? 

     When I am faced with a challenge, my natural man is tempted to be reactionary, accusatory, avoidant, or sometimes I simply just give up or give in.  As I follow the Savior, the only one to save, I can overcome the natural man and simply “wait upon the Lord.”

     May we place our trust in the Lord.  That is not to say that “waiting” is a passive thing, it is not!  We must be actively seeking the Lord’s guidance and strength as we wait upon him.  When we are faced with a challenge, don’t fight it.  Don’t flee.  Drop!  Drop to your knees . . and wait upon the Lord, then get up and actively wait. 

Fight, Flight . . . or wait?  Let us choose the 3^rd option. 

Are You a Hero?

Like a lot of boys, I loved super heroes and comic books.  I still remember the debates my best friend Mike and I would get into over which super-hero was better. 

         Even as an adult in moments of rather juvenile conversation, I will debate whether The Hulk is really a super hero or just a really tough - really big – really angry - green guy.  We debate whether having a belt full of toys and gadgets (like Batman or iron man) is as super-heroish as a guy with genuine powers (like Superman or the Human Torch).  And most of all we continue to debate whether Aquaman is a superhero that a “real man” can get behind and still retain his “Man Card.”

                       As a kid, all of my focus was on the power or skill that my favorite superhero had.  I assumed in my childlike mind that power, skill, and vanquishing the bad guy was the true hallmark of a hero. 

The following four attributes provide a typical dictionary definition of a Hero:    

     a: a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability

     b: an illustrious warrior

     c: a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities

     d: one who shows great courage

     These are great definitions, but I believe that something is missing.  The next time you watch a super hero movie; notice the reactions of others to the presence of the hero.  While Batman was not my favorite hero as a kid, I have come to appreciate more recent movie depictions.  I like the portrayal of what the hero means to others. The true hallmark of a hero is the influence his/her life and behavior has on others. A true hero is a servant of the people and the values they hold dear. 

     Moving on to real life, think of situations where the presence of someone else has been essential to your inspiration.  This person’s presence is not necessarily linked to their abilities or skill, but is linked to what they mean to the rest of the group.  In the competitive sports teams I have been involved with, there was always a team member or two who inspired everyone just by being there. If these individuals were not, even if we still won, it felt different.  You may know people like this. 

Now there is a real danger in this.  I do not advocate hero worship!  Never put your trust and devotion in the heroes of this world.  History is replete with leaders and heroes who disappoint and disillusion.  

     As leaders, we can be heroes by living moral lives, but we must shun the flattery that comes when we are recognized for our examples.  The Savior was of course our prime example.  He was our very Savior but he cautioned at the same time that he was not to be our object of worship just our object of emulation.  Even Jesus was “taught obedience by the things which he suffered.” He directed all praise and worship to the Father. 

     As men and women, husband and fathers, and as leaders in life and business, we need to be heroes.  But our heroism is in doing what is right and by living moral and righteous lives.  Our heroism is to stand up against the “wiles of the devil;” to be “in the world but not of the world.”  We need to teach our children to have the courage to be the first one to give someone else courage by walking away from the dirty joke, or walking out of an inappropriate movie.  We should teach our children to be the one who is the friend to the friendless - to serve and not seek to be served.  But we as adults also need to take our own advice in these matters. 

Superheroes in comics and movies may truly be powerful and highly skilled, but they also inspire others.  We can be superheroes by living moral and righteous lives and being the one who marks the way for others to follow the Savior.  But in being the hero, we must deflect all praise and accept personal responsibility for our faults and errors.  For while we all can influence and serve by being an example to others and by so doing encourage them to follow Christ, we also must remember that we are each responsible for our own sins and we must all work out our own salvation. 

Only one can save but we can all be heroes.

Positivity & Friendship in Christ:

Most of us have heard phrases like “smile and the whole world smiles with you” most of our life.  The great book by Dr. Peale “The Power of Positive Thinking” is/was a best seller, and deservedly so. We encourage those with their “dauber down” to “buck up” or encourage them to “keep their chin up.”  We all recognize the benefit of being positive and see the ramifications on our lives when we are “Debbie downers” or a “Sour Sams.” 

So why do we, despite our own understanding of the benefits of positivity, become negative at times?  Negativity in born of questioning our understanding of our purpose or goal; it comes from a clouded perspective.  When things do not go the way you think they should, despite your previous conviction that your path was a righteous one, it is easy to become negative.  I have to remind myself that if I am not facing obstacles in my life, one of two things must be happening: Either Father in Heaven does not really love me or does not care about me, or Satan has me where he wants me and has no need of making me struggle.  I have a firm testimony of God’s love for me.  His love has been manifest countless times in my life.   

Positivity is a skill that we can cultivate. 

And while there is much to discuss about this topic, I just wish to point out how our peer relationships affect our level of positivity.  A number of years ago, I was stuck in a bit of a rut professionally and I felt like I needed to go back to school.  I had a co-worker whom I count as a good friend.  She encouraged me and positively believed in my ability to attain my goals.  Occasionally she would ask me how I was doing on getting some tasks done along the way which were necessary to achieving my goal.  If I told her I had not done this or that, she would reprimand me and give me encouragement to keep moving forward.  To this day, I am grateful for her positive belief in me and for her encouragement.  Because I counted her as a friend, I welcomed her “reprimands.”  We need relationships that are positive and that cause us to appreciate the necessary reprimands that invariably come.  We need brothers and sisters in the Lord who love without guile and who have a positive attitude towards us and our potential.      

Open your Bibles and read through the Pauline Epistles, but just read the parts where Paul is addressing specific individuals and giving encouragement and council. Ask yourselves how did Paul address and treat his brothers and sisters?  Here are a few examples:

I Corinthians 16:17-20 “I am glad of the coming of Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus: for that which was lacking on your part they have supplied. For they have refreshed my spirit and yours: therefore acknowledge ye them that are such. The churches of Asia salute you. Aquila and Priscilla salute you much in the Lord, with the church that is in their house. All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss.”

Philippians 4:1-4 “Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved. I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord.  And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.”

  

Colossians 4:12-15 “Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you, always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.  For I bear him record, that he hath a great zeal for you, and them that are in Laodicea, and them in Hierapolis.  Luke, the beloved physician, and Demas, greet you. Salute the brethren which are in Laodicea, and Nymphas, and the church which is in his house.”

How do we respond when we encounter each other in the grocery store, or at the mall, or somewhere else outside of our houses of worship?  Do we greet each other with a metaphorical “holy kiss?”  (or whatever is culturally acceptable in your area)

Do we go out of our way to build positive uplifting relationships with other families and individuals in our congregations, wards, or synagogues?  I will tell you that I live in a part of the country where members of my faith are few and far between.  When I encounter a brother in the Lord that I usually see only on Sunday, I am uplifted.   I am cheered.  I feel of their spirit and I hope that they feel of mine.  These encounters bring me a feeling of positivity and encouragement.  I love the men in my Ward (congregation)!  Are they perfect; no.  Are they working on it; yes I hope.  Knowing that we are imperfect together but striving to be what the Savior would have us be, brings a powerful connection.  I hope you sisters have similar experiences. 

I know that we can often lose sight of our purpose.  Sometimes we are challenged by the circumstances of life.  Maybe it is a down-size at work, a wayward child, or a physical challenge.  We may be tempted to become negative and wonder out loud why these things are happening when “I do everything right.” 

I challenge you to be there for your brothers and sisters.  Build relationships with your fellow congregants.  Encourage one another.  Be Paul’s Timothy.  Serve one another and love as Christ does you. 

Will and Character

It is often said that we are “creatures of habit.”  We speak of exercising “the will” to control or change bad habits or to develop positive habits.  I might try to will my way to a new exercise program and I may strive to lose weight.  I may want to get past an addiction like drugs, alcohol, or pornography.  I exercise my will and try to develop positive habits.  I may share this goal with others and even solicit their support.  These are good positive things it is true.  Your attempts may be sincere.  But what often happens, like in the case of alcoholism, is that we just tend to trade “isms” like we trade in a car for a different one.  “Will” is not enough.  Will is important but it is not enough. 

We must turn our hearts to who we truly are and what we may become.  We need not only understand ourselves and exercise our will; we also need to understand our social geography and our destiny.   We must have a true picture of where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going.   We must develop our character in light of this macro view and our role in the bigger picture.   

Will is important, but will does not change character.  Character changes will. 

I recently offered this advice to someone just starting out in the world of leadership.  This got me thinking, so I am developing a workshop for budding leaders focusing on Judeo-Christian leadership principles.  Given the framework of my presentation, I want two more bullet points.  

Any thoughts? 

Here is what I said to the young man:

-“Good leaders must first become good servants” Robert Greenleaf.

- Developing a mentor relationship with another leader is essential.

- Be respectful and enthusiastic in everything you do.

- Get to know yourself and your own weaknesses and do not be afraid of them.

- Gain a vision then keep your hand to the plow and your eye on the mark.

Most leaders are not hired because of what they know but because of who they are. If you can master these five things, you can be a good leader. Without them you will just be a manager.

Pornography

Let’s talk about pornography.  Why is pornography such an issue, especially for men?  Why is it so effective in derailing men & boys in the pursuit of feeling the spirit, keeping the hand to the plow, and pressing towards the mark?   

I love to garden.  In a well organized garden, there is symmetry and order that is pleasing to the eye and this organization is also helpful in plant growth.  One time I was planting vegetables and I had one of those plows that has a wheel and handles (you know the one)  

                                                                                                                               

I was trying to put in rows of beets or chard or something.  As I read the back of the seed packet, I saw that the seeds should be planted in rows about eighteen inches apart.  I placed wooden stakes at each end of the proposed rows with the designated space between the rows.  In this particular garden, my rows were about twenty feet long.  I started to push that plow to form the rows.  As I went, I would keep my eye on the post ahead of me.  When I reached the end of the row, I turned to look back down the row and sure enough it was straight.  This continued for some time and the rows continued to be straight.  Pretty soon, I noticed that my cat was wandering around the garden. It started rubbing against my leg looking for attention.  When I ignored the cat, it began to find other things to do such as chase field mice and chew on the grass.  In the clear spring day, my mind began to wander as I watched the cat and the things going on around me.  I found that as my gaze and attention wandered, my rows became crooked.  I took my eye off the mark.  Soon I found that my nice symmetrical garden rows were ruined because I became distracted from my purpose. 

So what about pornography?  We know that the scriptures teach us to keep our hand to the plow and our eye on the mark.  That is the plan.  As Disciples of Christ, we must be focused on the prize of Christ.  What is Satan’s plan then?  Satan would distract us with the shiny and the carnal.  For many men that is pornography.  Is pornography attractive?  Sure it is.  Satan would not tempt us with things that are NOT pleasurable.  Satan does not aim to make us miserable at first (being miserable is the longer term goal for us).  Miserable is not very attractive is it?  Satan distracts with the pleasurable as a counterfeit for true happiness.  Instead of staying on the straight and narrow and moving forward, pressing toward the mark, Satan gets us trapped in circular patterns that keep us from moving forward.  This circular pattern or cycle is initially accompanied by feelings of guilt and shame.  Satan brings us both feelings of fleeting pleasure while at the same time brings us feelings of worthlessness and shame.  Eventually we become desensitized and hope of escape under our own power is lost.  It is only through Christ that we can break these cycles and get back on the path.      

Paul offers some helpful insight in Galatians Chapter 5:16-26

               This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.  For the Flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.  But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.  Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.  And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.  Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

Pornography causes men to lose sight of the mark and to remove their hand from the plow.  What does this do?  This removes us from the spirit and we begin to deaden ourselves to its influence.  Pornography becomes the noise that is louder than the spirit.  Does Satan have us then?  If Satan can separate us from the spirit, he can get us in a spiral that we cannot often get out of without help.  Are you addicted to pornography?  Is your answer “No, I view pornography but I am not addicted, I can stop anytime.”  I say you are a liar! Or you soon will prove yourself to be!  Once you get on the path of pornography, you are not likely to get off without help.  You may not have been on the path long, so you do not think you are addicted.  But I say to you who serve in your churches or work in jobs that depend on your good judgment and wisdom, YOU WILL LOSE THE SPIRIT IF YOU CONTINUE.  THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE?  How can you in good conscience lead others when you do not have access to inspiration?

Pornography (among other things) is a way that Satan counterfeits happiness with pleasure.        

Character causes happiness, not external affects

We need to follow some basic steps to find lasting happiness.  If you struggle with pornography, consider sharing your secret with someone you trust who can help you through it.  There any many helps and ways to mitigate this deviant, seductive, and destructive tool of Satan. 

Follow these 5 steps or phases that lead to lasting happiness (I expound on these ideas in my workshop about pornography)

1)      Repentance

2)      Obedience

3)      Renew your Mind Rom. 12:1-2

4)      You then gain his image in your Countenance Alma 5:14,19

5)      eventual exaltation 

Satan’s distraction to real progress: Episodic Pleasure Cycle gets you spinning in circles not moving forward:  (Check out Lehi’s & Nephi’s thoughts about evil and Satan’s methods in 2 Ne 1:13; 2:29; & 28:22.  For those of you without a copy of the book of Mormon, you can Google these references or go to https://www.lds.org/scriptures?lang=eng ) 

Workshops on Pornography and the Episodic Pleasure Cycle being scheduled now.  email or call for specifics. 

Questions/thoughts about Manhood

As I work on developing new presentation material and lectures.  I am curious to find out about your opinions. 

Do you have a favorite scripture (from any religions’ canonized scripture) dealing with what it means to be a man?

Or do you have any favorite character in these scriptures (besides the Savior) that you feel is a good example of principled leadership?  Why?

Leave me a comment (anonymous or not.  It does not matter). 

If you know of any conferences or workshops being developed that may need a speaker, please feel free to pass along my information.  Or if any of you want a brochure and description of my services, please feel free to pass along a request with an address and I will send you a copy of my informational packet. 

Thanks,

George.